It’s inevitable that when we look at ourselves in the mirror, we do not like some things that are reflected back.

The thoughts that we ruminate on, though, can dig us into a deep ditch of negative self-talk. Sometimes our critical voice is so loud that we aren’t able to let positive affirmations in whatsoever. It’s a hard cycle to break, but it isn’t impossible.

I battled with body dysmorphia and shame about my body since adolescence. It took me YEARS of therapy… but I finally enjoy parts of myself that I used to hate.

The first step in overcoming body dysmorphia and negative self-talk for me was this:

1) I started with one thing.

Just one thing I liked about myself. Sometimes, it can be HARD AS FUCK to even name one thing. But I tried my best. For me, it was my eyes.

2) If I had a hard time naming something positive, I asked for help.

If I needed a little help with naming one thing I liked about myself, I asked someone I trusted to tell me something they liked about me. I had an ingrained belief that asking for reassurance wasn’t okay… it would make me “needy” or a “burden.” In reality, It’s okay to ask for reassurance sometimes. Especially in the beginning of a self-love journey… it’s imperative to have supportive friends around to help with affirmations. As humans we are wired for connection, and if that looks like believing someone else until we can believe ourselves, that’s perfectly okay. I hung on to what affirmations my friends told me. I wrote them on a post-it and stuck it to my mirror.

3) I practiced naming something I liked about myself every time I looked in a mirror.

Every time I looked in the mirror, I naturally started naming things I hated. I tried my best to eventually combat that by naming the ONE THING I liked. I would say, “but hey, my eyeballs are pretty as fuck.” By balancing the negative thoughts with at least one positive affirmation, I was able to take small steps forward in my self-love journey.

I said it over and over again. Every time I passed a mirror. “Damn, your eyes are hella pretty, girl.”

It finally stuck. I believed it after a while. Then I started adding more to my list of positive affirmations.

Positive affirmations don’t come naturally sometimes, and that’s okay. It’s a muscle that can be strengthened with practice. After time, and after repeated affirmations, they will eventually stick.

You deserve to hear nice things, especially from yourself.